Libe Rarian, Newspaper Sorter

In a concert that will go down as one of the greatest of our generation, the “SLUM Gregorian Geese” chanted their way into our hearts on Wednesday in the Threehill concert hall. Forget Super Bowl halftime shows, because this concert was something that belongs in the hall of fame.

Picture it: The lights dim in the Threehill, a spotlight shines on stage and the geese begin to waddle on. They are met with thunderous applause from all seats in the theater. As audience members begin to settle in their seats once again, one can hear the guttural noises ringing through the venue of the geese clearing their throats. And with just a moment of silence, the geese begin to perform.

While performing popular hits, such as “Smells Like Teen Geese,” “Goose Rhapsody,” and “7 Geese,” the choir introduced new music to astonished fans. Some of the debut songs included “Sweet Goose O’Mine,” “Goose’s Got a Brand New Bag,” and “God Save the Goose.”

Greg, the composer of the concert, stated that this event was “honk honkhonkhonk honk honk. Honk honk honk, honk honkhonk honk honk honk honk honk. Honk? Honk honk honk honk HONK!” Since I was unable to understand anything being said to me in this moment, I had the opportunity to speak with George, the lead-singer of “SLUM Gregorian Geese” who speaks both English and Geese-ian. George explained that Greg was explaining that “People think Gregorian music is boring. As a response, we must show them that it is not. How? By singing our hearts OUT!”

The concert lasted for about two and a half hours, with one 15-minute intermission. When the student geese took their final bow, hundreds of flowers were thrown on to the stage in adoration for the group. Some members of the choir began to tear up, as they realized that this would be the last time they would be able to honk in front of an audience.

Geese-yoncé, the mezzo-soprano whose voice soared through the Threehill during the spectacle, explained that “this is my last concert at UMSL. I am a senior and am about to graduate. I am very thankful for all of the opportunities that Greg, and all of the other members in ‘SLUM Gregorian Geese,’ has given me.”

Singing their little hearts out is exactly what the “SLUM Gregorian Geese” did at the Threehill. Attendance rates for events at the theater typically run at about 60-75 percent capacity. On March 29, however, staff at the venue began selling standing room only tickets to guests who did not get there before long lines wrapped around the outside of the theater.

The “SLUM Gregorian Geese” prove that artistic masterpieces can be created with very little funding and reap huge rewards. Many people will continue to support the new inductees to the “SLUM Gregorian Geese” in the fall semester of 2019, as memories of the senior class begin to fade away.

The group’s 2018 album is now available on Honk-tunes and Goose-ify for all cellular carriers. Half of all proceeds go towards building nests for geese in need.