By Drake’s Ghostwriter, Breadwinner


President Donald Drumpf has had plans for a southern border wall between Mexico and the United States. This wall has become a centerpiece for political discussions, memes, and the Drumpf campaign as a whole. Many see the wall as some sort of joke, but Drumpf has made it very apparent that the wall will happen, and it is going to be “yuge.”

As the imminent production of the wall looms over people’s heads, Americans are asking what the real purpose of the wall is and who is going to pay for it. Their questions were answered last Tuesday when a former White House employee leaked Drumpf’s secret plan for the wall via Twitter. James Boyette, also known as @NotAFanOfTinyHands spoke about the wall in a series of tweets. After disclosing that he had previously been a White House employee in his first tweet, Boyette finally began to tell his story.

“The first day in office was scary. Drumpf was ruthless. I was the hundredth employee to be fired that day,” Boyette said. Drumpf has been notorious for firing White House employees who defy him or hold different values than his own. Drumpf then hires someone that he finds to be more fit for the position. Boyette went on to say, “I pleaded with him but nothing worked. He told me to get out. But as I was leaving, I noticed something strange on his computer.”

Boyette finished off his Twitter leak by saying, “I saw an unsent tweet that said the wall was meant to trap Americans and would be a border around the entire country.” This news is nothing short of shocking. Donald Drumpf’s original plan was to keep out illegal immigrants, prevent drug and human trafficking, and stop terrorism. Now that the information about Drumpf’s true plan is out in the open, people are fleeing the country at breakneck speed.
Trapping Americans within the country has to be the first step to Drumpf’s plan. Definitely Not News (DNN) has reported rumors of Drumpf wanting to use America as some sort of human zoo. A recent tweet by Drumpf pushed this agenda more by saying, “I want to show the best in humanity. Everyone will know we’re the best country in the world.”

Shortly after this, Boyette disappeared, and his Twitter account was shut down. A note was discovered in Boyette’s home that said, “I’ve worked in the White House for years and never has there been a situation like this. Drumpf loves Twitter. He has it set as his home page. If you can stop the tweets, you can stop the wall.”

Boyette’s note has inspired many to begin their own journey to stop the wall’s production or take it down afterwards. These adventurers call themselves “Demolishers.” The Demolishers hope to take down the wall within the four years of Drumpf’s presidency, or in the time frame of a 26-52 episode anime series. They wish to avoid the human zoo at all costs and want the country to be free so that every weeaboo can go to Japan and meet their waifu.

With the human zoo and a war between Drumpf and the Demolishers incoming, the future of this country is in question. Will those deemed fit for the human zoo be paid, and will they be allowed to go home every night? If this is a normal 9 to 5 job, some may be willing to dance for pieces of overpriced zoo food if they were to be paid at the end of the day. If not, the St. Louis University of Missouri offers refuge for those who don’t want to be part of the human zoo.

Nothing about Drumpf’s wall is certain. Even the people he will make pay for the wall are still up in the air. Americans everywhere have said that they will not be funding the wall. With members of his own country against him, Drumpf has been put into a difficult position. There are rumors that NotRussia is willing to help him out with payment and labor, but Drumpf continues to deny that he is not best friends forever with NotRussia. Drumpf has stated that any further updates about the wall can be found on his Twitter which is @OrangeTanFan1.