Louis of St. Louis, Sparta Editeur

Archduke University star basketball player Lion Williams announced his intent to transfer today in a tweet. “After much consideration, I have decided to transfer schools. I want to thank Coach and all of Blue Angel nation for everything. It has been great.” Williams’ announcement sent social media into a frenzy, for a variety of reasons. The first being that many believed he would be heading to the NBA Draft at the conclusion of the season. The second being that even if he decided to stay in college, why he would transfer from such a successful program like Archduke’s? Rumors immediately began swirling on why Williams was transferring. Some suggested a falling out with his coach, while others hinted that Williams wanted a change of scenery. It was not until four hours later that Williams tweeted where he was headed to.

“After much consideration, I have chosen to transfer to SLUM,” wrote Williams in his tweet. The tweet only continued to fuel the frenzy that started four hours earlier when Williams first tweeted his intent to transfer. The frenzy carried on throughout the night as many people did not even know where SLUM was located. One tweet read, “Is SLUM even a real school,” while another one read “Are they Division 1.” Some called the news fake, with some people tweeting things like, “This is so fake” and “I don’t know what is more fake, SLUM being a school or Lion transferring.” SLUM’s campus was immediately buzzing after the announcement.

SLUM faculty and students could hardly stay focused in the classroom. Williams’ popularity has been on rise for the last three years. At age 16 he was throwing down dunks that most NBA players could not even do. This has led to his surge in popularity, not just with sports fans, but with all sorts of people. Whether you are into sports or not, it is still awe dropping to see a guy jump 45 inches in the air and dunk a basketball. SLUM student Iam Kidding said, “I don’t really follow basketball, but I know who Lion Williams is. His dunks are all over Instagram and Twitter.”

When asked his thoughts on the transfer, SLUM chancellor Thisis Fake said, “I am so excited for our basketball program and for our university. Lion is an incredible athlete and a phenomenal young man. It is my hope that he can continue to excel here at SLUM, both on and off the court.” SLUM Men’s Basketball head coach Totally MadeUp said, “I cannot wait to get to work with Lion and prepare for the upcoming season. With his addition, I believe the sky’s the limit for this team.”

With the addition of Williams, SLUM has just about guaranteed themselves a conference championship as well as a Division 2 National Championship. Williams averaged 22.5 points, 8.8 rebounds, and 1.7 blocks per game in 31 games with Archduke his freshman year. SLUM fans cannot even imagine what his stats will look like playing against Division 2 opponents. Some say he will average 30 points per game, while others are saying as high as 40 points per game. SLUM as already announced they have sold out of season tickets and that they will charge students $20 per game to sit in the student section. The amount of money SLUM will make from selling tickets is unimaginable. Some people paid over $2,000 to watch Williams while he was at Archduke. Even if SLUM can get one tenth of that per ticket, they will do just fine.

It is without a doubt, that without even playing one game for SLUM, Lion Williams has completely changed the culture at SLUM. Never in a million years would anyone even think to imagine that someone of Williams’ caliber would transfer from an elite basketball college such as Archduke. It is even more unimaginable to think someone like Williams would choose to transfer to a far less superior college, one that is not even Division 1. Nevertheless, it is going to be fun to watch the great Lion Williams throw down vicious dunks on merciless opponents in a SLUM uniform.