Momoa Fan, Counting Scribe

Jason Momoa, the star of “Aquaman,” is set to make an appearance on April 6 at the St. Louis Comic Con. Ahead of his appearance, Momoa will be making his directorial debut with his own adaptation of “Goose-man.”

The event is booked to run from April 3 through April 5 and will feature SLUM’s very own flock of geese in supporting roles. Momoa will still portray his character Goose-man while taking on directorial duties. When reached for comment on his decision to tackle such a daunting task, the “Goose-man” star stated, “When I thought about it, it just made sense. Because, as an artist, I feel it’s my responsibility to explore all avenues of art and bring to life my passions—plus I like to sing.” The whole endeavor is financed by Momoa himself, going as far as to create the set, costumes, songs and musical score.

“It is much harder getting the clothing measurements for geese than one would think,” stated Momoa, sporting bite marks. “I ended up losing a tooth, as well.”

SLUM’s healthy goose population aided in Momoa’s choice to debut his musical at SLUM. Regarding salary for the geese, Momoa stated, “They were way cheaper to pay than actual people. I’ve been paying them in grass and grains.”

Vocal practice has already begun, and the geese can be heard all throughout campus rehearsing their lines. One goose came clean about the strict regiment Momoa has them under, “HONK.” Which loosely translates: “He has us dancing and singing at all hours of the day. He is a terrible director, and we are pretty sure this is animal cruelty in some way.”

When asked for a reply, Momoa said: “Oh, is that right? Well, they can kiss my tail feathers.” The dispute is ongoing.

The score for the musical will also be prerecorded by Momoa, featuring him on all the instrumentation. If the play receives a positive response, then Momoa plans on releasing a soundtrack. He hopes the play will be the next “Dogs,” and has higher hopes of reaching Slimway with his troupe of geese.

“It’s one of those things that transcends art and thought,” says Momoa. “This will be my Opus, my ‘Tenth Tarantino film’; inception come to life, if you will.”

The pressure for such an undertaking is apparent. Everything must be perfect, and that is why the choice for a venue was an important one.

As Momoa explains: “I chose to do this musical in the pond outside of the Miscellaneous Student Center. For starters, the geese were already there. Secondly, the water was already there. Thirdly, it’s in a central location on campus. You really have to consider all of the logistics when you’re the sole force behind a production.” Well stated Momoa.

The price of admission will be set at $5 with $1 for every five going towards The Canadian Geese Thespians Guild of America. Concessions will be served as well featuring many duck-themed dishes. “Yeah, the geese chose that one. I don’t know,” said Momoa.

Momoa’s excitement for his musical is evident and he hopes everyone can make time to come see it. “This musical will change the way we look at superheroes and geese, alike. It will be extraordinary. Plus, I will be shirtless for most of it, so that will be cool,” Momoa said.

The expected run time will be between three and five hours with no intermission. Momoa does not want the musical to lose any of its luster because of an intermission. The musical will be the first of its kind to feature animals in supporting roles with lines and lyrics; heralding a new age of theater and celebrating a superhero who never had their due.