Dr. David Western, founding executive director of Kenya’s African Conservation Centre, has been named the 2010 winner of the World Ecology Award.

The University of Missouri-St. Louis is set to hold a workshop focused on counseling youths of various sexual orientation and gender identity.

William Clanfife XII, Saxon Lord of SLUM grounds and personal soothsayer to The Prospector, announced Wednesday that SLUM would begin offering an undergraduate certificate in alchemy beginning in 2011. The addition of such a program has been hailed by UM System executives as both a modern, exciting new major and also, according to insiders, a way to make a little extra money.

SLUM’s very own Center for Nanoscience is getting a major overhaul. And it’s about time.

“What in the goddamn hell is ‘nanoscience’?” J.Q. Vauxhall Jr., new Chancellor of SLUM, said during a press conference that he called but apparently had no memory of doing so.

Irrigation is a technology that has been used for millennia. Nearly every culture on earth that exists today has used irrigation in some form or another. Innovations in irrigation seldom come—but when they do, they change history forever.