Breasts are great. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, from large to small and soft to firm. They are the objects of obsession for many a teenage male (and female).
Indeed, our society as a whole seems to adore them—hence all the shots of celebrity women in their bikinis. Everyone loves breasts—deny it as much as you like, but it’s true.
Well, almost everyone. Australia, apparently, has a problem with small breasts.
Apparently, because small-breasted women encourage pedophilia.
The Australian Classification Board has “started to ban depictions of small-breasted women in adult publications and films,” according to news Web site theweek.com.
Now, Australia isn’t exactly known for its openness regarding censorship and ratings, but this is going too far. While the idea behind the ban is a noble one, the way it has been implemented is misguided at best and completely absurd at worst.
The idea is that this ban helps discourage pedophilia and offers a way to curb child exploitation. Both of these goals are never a bad thing. However, there are a whole host of problems stemming from a ban on small breasts.
For starters, the law is incredibly, irrefutably sexist. The ban labels a perfectly normal female body type as an obscenity, which in turn essentially encourages women to get breast enhancements.
On top of that, it labels people who prefer smaller bust sizes as perverts and possible pedophiles.
Technically, small-chested women who take pictures of themselves could now be accused of creating simulated child porn. Nothing about this ban makes any sense at all—it’s absurd.
Secondly, all this ban really does is make a subjective view on the ideal female form into a law. I guess that Australian Senators Barnaby Joyce and Guy Barnett prefer their women with larger breasts and decided that everyone should as well.
Also banned is any depiction of the female orgasm, a perfectly normal and healthy response to sexual stimulation in many women. Indeed, Australian “censors [have branded] it as ‘abhorrent,’” according to the theweek.com article.
This aspect of the ban is confusing as well—there are plenty of filthier sexual acts the Aussies could have banned instead of a normal one.
Then again, the Australian Classification Board has never been a fountain of common sense and intelligence.
This is not the first time Australia has had problems with its government censors. There is a long and well-documented need in the country for an 18-years-old and up classification for video games. They have an 18+ classification for films, but not one for video games for some reason.
Currently, the Australian ratings system for interactive video games only goes up to 15+. That means that violent games that get “M” (17+) ratings in the U.S.A, like Grand Theft Auto, Left 4 Dead 2, and Manhunt, end up either outright banned or severely censored.
Luckily, a multi-national company has just got involved in the fight for an 18+ classification: EB Games. Known in the U.S. as GameStop, EB Games Down Under has its customers filling out petitions and contacting their senators in order to rally support for an 18+ rating.
Truly, there is an easy solution to nearly all of Australia’s ban and ratings problems: vote the politicians who voted in favor of the ban out of office.
Back on the topic of small-breasted women, there is an ultra-easy and really simple solution to check if a woman is too young: the time-honored practice of checking her birth date.
Andrew Seal is Opinions Editor for The Current.
