By Travonte Harris, Staff Writer

 

So I have been out as bisexual for 3 years going on 4. I have struggled with racism in the gay community. As if it wasn’t enough to have straight people looking down on me and calling me names and criticizing the way I live my life, now I have to deal with racism because of the color of my skin and from my own people.

A downside to being bisexual is the fact that no girl will date me because I’m openly bisexual. With that being said, straight people are still more open-minded than gay people. The first dating app I went on was Meetme back in 2013 when I had just left high school. I soon became obsessed and addicted. I wanted to find the perfect match—that one person who I could spend a good portion of my life with. It never happened. So I joined Grindr.

All I wanted to do was to be open-minded and date outside of my race, preferably someone who was Caucasian or Latino. But back then I saw a lot of posts on the dating apps like “Anyone but black,” “No blacks allowed,” and I had to stop myself and think, “Am I in the 60s or is this reality?” It struck me that so many Caucasians did not want to date a black guy; I questioned, “Am I unattractive? Am I not good enough for them? How is it that my brother can get all the white girls he wants, but when it comes to me I can’t even get one guy?”

I struggled with self-doubt. I even pondered killing myself, but that was too easy and I knew that I would leave behind a grieving family, so I tried hatred. I found myself being just as close-minded as the people I hated. I started saying really offensive stuff on Facebook. I was starting to hate the LGBT community and hate myself for being a part of it.

But after much backlash from friends and family, I realized that hating them would solve nothing. So I tried to return to dating apps. Before I came out, I never had a problem with racism. I could get black girls, white girls, some mixed girls. But in dealing with trying to go after my dream guy, I was met with opposition. It has even driven me to be racist at times, but I am a work in progress.

I am dedicated to making everyone I come in contact with more open-minded. I want to get back to the me who just wanted to make everyone happy. The key issue is still that my brother can get a white girl, but that I can’t get a white guy; or that I can get a white girl, but that I can’t get a white guy.

I even have gay friends who are black and they only date black people because it has been an issue trying to date a white guy. So I hope that this article helps people become more aware of their racism; it’s like an apple: you don’t know if you like it unless you try it.

Recently I went into a gay club and there were a lot of people—mostly couples. The few single people who were there were out of my league. But I walked up to a guy, and his friend, a girl who said, “What do you want?” in the rudest voice possible, like she was superior to me. All I wanted was a dance. This should not be a world where people kill themselves because they are lonely or because their own LGBT social group will not accept them. I hope that reading this article causes readers to consider how their actions might affect other people, whether intentional or not.